The 7-year itch, along with being a movie with Marilyn Monroe about the temptations of infidelity, is the notion that after seven years of marriage (or a long relationship), you start to get unhappy or unsatisfied and long for something more.
I do not know how or who came up with the mark of seven years being the designated time to stir up dissatisfaction, nor have I ever experienced this statistic in my own life in regards to marriage or a relationship. As far, as I am concerned, statistics are based on the past. Principle is not bound by precedent, and I am not a number or a trend or the statistic. I am based on the present moment, and am an individualized expression of God.
I titled this blog “The 7-Year Itch” for another reason all together. It is inspired by this being the seventh year anniversary or birthday of Center for Spiritual Living Kaua`i. For those of you who are not familiar with it, CSL Kaua`i is a Spiritual Center that teaches and practices the Science of Mind and Spirit. It was founded by my husband, Patrick Feren and myself. Although I am not unhappy with its growth and development over these seven years, I have been itching for something, for change, for expansion.
In our teaching we call this “Divine Discontent,” or the “Divine Urge.” Ernest Holmes defines it as “The inner desire to express life. The desire to do and accomplish more, to be more completely happy, prosperous, and well.” He says, “It is part of that eternally progressive spirit of unfoldment, and we should surrender the entire situation to the working of Intelligence, with the conviction that Intelligence will use us as a perfect channel.”
In other words, when we feel this urge for change or expansion, we should turn it over to the Divine within us and trust its unfoldment through us. I have found that sometimes when we experience this itch or discontent or urge, we might mistake it for immediate action, to make a change now, and perhaps to do things that are not too well thought out. We make a big decision about leaving a job or moving. I’ve done both. I remember once moving my whole family to the country, without much thought because I thought I was supposed to live in the country. After much stress and confusion, we moved back to the urban community about one year later.
After having spent the last twenty years, studying the Science of Mind, in retrospect, thinking of these types of rash decisions of the past, I can see that I was being led by my ego instead turning it over to my Divine self. I didn’t settle into what was stirring within me and really tap into my deeper self. Instead, I gave into just doing the next thing to make me feel like something was happening in whatever goal I had at that time. Perhaps, I was just unhappy with my life, was seeking change and instead of looking at where the unhappiness came from, I just jumped to a change in the world of form.
I would have to say that at the beginning of this year as we entered 2020, I most definitely felt this 7-year itch concerning our Center. I . We seemed to be slowing down in the attendance and in classes. We’d accomplished so much. I’d definitely assisted in facilitating change in people who wanted change in their lives. I’d opened the door for greater awareness of the self. I helped people to recognize their own magnificence. So, why wasn’t this enough? I was being called to do more, I thought. So, metaphorically speaking, I began throwing spaghetti against the spiritual wall, waiting to see what would move the Center forward. Honestly, I was wondering if CSL Kaua`i had outdone its time or I had outdone my time with it.
Although I’d given myself the responsibility to make sure CSL Kaua`i continued in the world, more so, I was responsible for my own unfoldment and continued expansion. What I discovered was that I wasn’t being called to do more, but to “be more.” I discovered that the only way to inspire others was to inspire myself and lift myself higher. I was working on this, and then something happened.
First, there was a great upheaval within the Center accompanied by the death of several friends and members of the community. I knew this dark time was preparing me for something, so, I went deeper. Ernest Holmes once wrote that “when things look, the worst is the time to do our best work.” Things were definitely looking worse and worse and worse. My ego was fighting like crazy to gain control. And, although I was holding it together, thanks for being what I call “prayed up,” I still found myself sinking to the lowest denominator on many occasions.
Then, it came, something that I would never have expected. In fact, I couldn’t imagine it. The Universe said, “You want something more? You want to grow? You want to expand? Well, take this and see what you can do with it.” COVID 19, a world-wide epidemic began to spread its dark wings across the globe. We were forced into the inner chamber of our minds, separated from each other in physical form, and our Center closed its physical doors.
Ministry School never prepared me for this. And, although we had an excellent live-streaming capability, something seemed seriously wrong with the picture. On the global front, there was death, people were becoming afraid of each other. Would hugging become against the law? Would social- distancing and masks become the new normal.
Week after week, I was forced to stand up and find some new way to give hope, inspiration and remind people of their true identity, while the rest of the world strengthened the opposite ideas: “You are sick, weak, poor, and, yes, unhappy. You are going to more than likely lose your job. You might catch this horrible thing and you might die.” Although I knew the virus was real, I also knew that I could and had looked at discordant facts in the face and changed them through the use of Spiritual Mind Treatment. And then, there was still the horrid stress of thinking I had to keep CSL Kaua`I alive and well, financially, while making sure that everyone was happy and okay. Frankly, the whole thing made me want to run.
After much Ho’oponopono, which I use daily as a form of clearing my own consciousness; Spiritual Mind Treatment, and meditations, which got longer every day; I kept seeking my next thing to do. Then, one day, I heard a voice that asked, “what is your ministry for?” My answer was clear: I am here to inspire. That is all that I am here for. To give inspiration by both my example and my words, my writing, my music. Inspiration is my calling. It doesn’t matter what form it takes? Yes, I wanted my family back in the room here, but right now the most important thing is what I came to do and that is to assist others to walk the bridge from duality to unity. To teach oneness, to be oneness. It felt like a great burden was lifted from my shoulders.
As soon as I had this epiphany, I was introduced for the second time to the work of Eckhart Tolle which gave me the tools to practice being instead of doing. Of course, I’m still doing, but I’m making sure my doing comes from being. There is a difference: one is ego driven and comes from willpower, and the other comes from the place of oneness with Divine Consciousness.
So what is my message to you today? Well first, I ask are you feeling an itch, and uprising of a desire within you to contribute, to do something different? If so, that is God within you, wanting to express itself. It’s the soul’s call to be a light in the world. It isn’t about getting busy, but it is about settling down and listening. It is about taking the time to ask “what is mine to be?” And, then to listen for the answer that isn’t perhaps the one you expected. It’s about allowing yourself to go forward into what might be uncomfortable, but you know somewhere deep within you is the next step for you.
I remember when we left the comfortableness of the life we had in Los Angeles. We were called to be here on Kaua`i. It was most definitely an itch. In this case the 15-year itch. See what I mean? We are not statistics. We are vibrant spiritual beings on the path of life unfolding in our own time. We are here now, in this moment, so there must be a reason for that. Again, its not about doing something great; it’s more about being something great – your truth self – God, Divinity. Wholeness. Power. Light. It’s about having the audacity to let go and live your life in action, not to stay in the closet anymore.
There are so many opportunities and variety of ways of doing this as there are unique expressions of Divinity. I know you will find the path right for you. Listen. Follow your heart.
What is the next step for CSL Kaua`i? Really it is more about what is my next step? The mission of inspiring and walking each other across the bridge to Unity is taking on a larger form that is unfolding as I speak. There is a dismantling and a rebuilding that has to take place. Business as usual is not sufficient anymore. Stress and doing, doing, doing does not create peaceful unfoldment. I, instead, am being the more and I am encouraging others to be the more. I am not responsible for saving the world. The world doesn’t need saving. However, all the Light workers stepping up, finding their ministry and living it, and joining forces in Consciousness will create the higher vibration required to rebuild the new world that is unfolding. It is a solitary journey while at the same time a journey of Unity. We each must do our part, guided by Spirit, our part that enhances the whole.
Love and Aloha,