Since I’ve come to Kaua’i every month I have heard about someone in my realm of experience either dying from an illness, diagnosed with a terminal illness or dying in an accident. This doesn’t include those we hear about in the larger world.
Some might say it is my profession as a minister that brings all these incidents so close to me or some might say it is my age. Some might say many things, but truly it is none of these. There is a huge age span in all these souls and some have nothing to do with me as a minister. They have nothing to do with age or life style.
Yes, I have felt somewhat ambushed by death in the past five years and I have no explanation of why it is so. The deaths themselves are unexplainable and make no coherent sense. There is no earthly explanation why so many I know are leaving this realm of existence.
A few days ago, I asked in meditation for more understanding about this thing called “death” so that I could better explain it to myself and to those who come to me. The next thing I knew, I heard of Erika Luckett going into hospice. Again, I was confronted with the question, “Why?” Spirit was nudging me to go deeper into my question.
As I think about Erika for some reason, I am more touched by the idea of immortality than mortality. I am sad for Lisa. She and Erika are so in love. I have witnessed their love and it is palpable. However, as I said, immortality is what touches my soul.
It is still a feeling and I cannot really explain it yet. I am sharing something that has no words besides a sense of peace and adventure at the same time. I am also deeply motivated to live my life and my true self in an even greater way. I am urged to give my gifts no matter how they are received. I am urged to be bigger and more loving, while at the same time to go further inward to the quiet.
I wish I could tell everyone that I totally understood death. I cannot. I am a student of life and what I know and have faith in is that all things are revealed to us at the right time. Trusting the mystery and sitting in it is the only thing I know to do right now. I am allowing myself to feel my feelings without judging them or monitoring them. I am allowing myself to say, I do not understand. I am allowing myself to be right where I am with it all.
I do trust . I do not fear and I have a lot of faith right now that all things are just as they should be. I know that I will continue to be right where I am supposed to be making the most of my life right now. I know that I do know and that as I need to understand, I will understand. I trust in the process of life and that death is part of that process.
Thank you for listening to these words that have come to me this morning. I guess this is called mourning.
Love and Aloha,