PLEASE NOTE: This blog is an excerpt from my upcoming book: “Where’s My Red Dress? The Journey of the Sensual and Sexual Me into My Seventies and Beyond”

“Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born. – Yours is the darkness of my soul’s return – You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” – E. E. Cummings

“Comet Hale-Bopp was an unusually bright comet that flew by Earth, reaching its closest approach to the planet in 1997. It was most spectacular in the Northern Hemisphere and visible to the naked eye for about 18 months. Heaven’s Gate” cult in San Diego committed mass suicide as the comet came close to Earth. http://www.space.com

The Hale-Bopp comet suicide was one of those horrifying, tragic events that touched us all. So, why am I telling you about the Hale-Popp Comet? Because I believe in metaphors and synchronicities. As Hale-Bopp Comet neared Planet Earth and as Heaven’s Gate Cult experienced the taking of their lives, I was about to go through coming of light into my life and the ending of the life I knew for 27 years. If we are connected to Nature, and I do believe we are; if we are at one with the Universe, and I believe we are, then it was no coincidence that my life was about to end and begin in a big way. It happened like this.

My children were all out of the house and my son was ready to go to college to study acting. It was his passion, and we supported him in fulfilling this dream. At the same time that he would be studying theatrical acting, I thought it would be good for him to acquaint himself with film acting, as he made the decision as to whether this was what he truly wanted for his life. Because I was involved in the theater and acting community in Albuquerque, it came to my attention that there was a film acting and networking studio within the city limits. The studio was called Feren Studios/Unlimited Productions. I made the call to the studio on behalf of my son, and left for a 25 year anniversary vacation with my husband. The call from Patrick Feren would come when I was away on what would be the last vacation with my husband. My daughter let Patrick know that I was out of town.

I returned the call when I came home, and that is when my life took a drastic turn. My son was not really interested in film acting and never pursued those classes with Patrick. However, I turned to my husband out of the blue and said I think I would like to take classes in film acting. At that point, I was not doing any theater, but as it always was, theater and acting always lured me back into its embrace.

Shortly after, I met the amazing teacher Patrick Feren, who brought the actor out in me in a new way. He was the type of teacher that focused on our strengths, not weaknesses; unlike the theatrical training I had received in college which focused on bringing out your best through criticism.

Patrick always tells the story about our beginnings like this. “I had two rules in my studio. One was everyone always paid on time. Rita always did that. The other is that I would never date a student. Well, that was a harder rule to keep.”

The truth is Patrick and I never began as lovers or dating. I began to work for him in exchange for classes. It was a win/win relationship of which I will always be grateful. Our relationship started as a perfect work relationship between two people. We then became really good friends. I believe these two elements have always strengthened us and our relationship. When couples begin as friends, I believe their relationship has an anchor.

Even with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, Patrick was the most charismatic person I’d ever met. Interestingly, I had encountered him many months before March 1997 when I was at an acting workshop with a Albuquerque casting director. I remember seeing him across a crowded room with his long hair, cowboy boots and that cigarette and knowing instinctually that I would get to know him some day. As I’ve been learning in quantum theory, time is really fluid and there is no past or future. Right now is all there is, and we enter this now all the time. This would be my now. Perhaps, that door that my mentor spoke of several months earlier was now opening. There was a part of me that felt that I must jump into whatever this was before that opportunity passed me by.

Patrick and I were spending a lot of time together because, of course, when it comes to work, I give my all. I was totally committed to acting, working in his studio and finally realizing that my career as an actress might actually happen. When I told my father, who was still alive at that time, about this new teacher in my life, I remember his exact words, ‘This man will change your life, finally.‘ I had no idea what this statement truly meant, but I would soon find out.”

So that is the beginning of my love story with Patrick Feren. You’ll have to wait for my new book to be released to hear the whole both delicious and trying journey. In the meantime, here we are 27 years later, celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary. I can truly say that the leap I made 23 years ago was one of the few times in my life when my very life depended on it. I have never looked back. Did I feel some remorse or guilt for what I left behind. Maybe, but the joy I have experienced far outweighed any of that. As Joseph Campbell wrote, “Find a place inside where there‘s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” When one turns to their True self and moves with that Self, it is not the easiest journey, nor is it meant to be. However, the rewards are overflowing and never-ending.

Happy Anniversary to my soul mate, my mystical, magical, spiritual, sexy husband! The journey continues!

Love,

Rev. Rita Andriello-Feren, Author, Co-Founding Spiritual Director – CSL Kaua`i