I am sitting in the light of a new year and the words that come to me are fearless, authentic and bold. Those words are my intentions this year. I believe that it is possible to live these words and that these words, if lived fully, will have an impact on my life and the lives of those around me.

I just published my latest book, Where is my Red Dress?. I wrote this book, as if I would never publish it. I wanted to be fearless, authentic and bold and tell my story with no boundaries. I believe I accomplished this. Why did I feel like this was important? Well, for much of my life I have hidden my true story. I have buried the events. I have stuffed the shame. I have held onto the guilt. By telling my story with the intention of healing, I am healing.

Our stories are the use we make of the great gift of life. I spent the first part of my life unconscious running by programs implanted in me in childhood. I had no idea that this is what I was doing. I was just living. I bumped up against a lot of trouble and used my life force in unconscious ways. There was nothing evil and bad about this, but I believe I would never have developed into the person I am today if I had not become conscious and responsible.

I didn’t hold back in the writing of this book and I didn’t tell stories for the sake of telling them. I experienced them as healing tools in the awakening of consciousness. I believe I have succeeded and from the feedback I have received it enabled others to awaken, too. One of my testimonials revealed this: “As I write this, I don’t know where to begin. So much of this book spoke to me and stirred something deep within. At times, I found myself in tears; I felt a churning inside, as though the dust of time that had carefully lain undisturbed, covering the deepest parts of me, was being swirled and lifted away. Rita Andriello-Feren’s book Where Is My Red Dress? is a true gift. To be honest, it was a gift I wasn’t sure I wanted to open. But through Rita’s unflinching and unwavering courage in sharing her journey, I found my own courage rising.” Rev. Dr. Lori Savage

This is the gift that I hoped to present in this book “Where is My Red Dress?” It is not just a book; it is a movement. I have been suppressed as a woman by hiding my life’s experiences in shame and secrecy. I call it “keeping secrets at our own expense.”

People will often say, “Don’t hang onto your story.” I agree. However, this doesn’t mean bury it. I means process it, heal it and grow from it and let it go. I trust you will enjoy my journey should you choose to read it in Where is My Red Dress? One Woman’s Sensual, Sexual, Spiritual Journey to Wholeness.

Love and Aloha,

Dr. Rita Andriello-Feren, Author, Co-Spiritual Director CSL Kaua`i

PS: The beautiful cover was created by Dr. Lori Savage.