“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dalai Lama

When I was in Practitioner training, there was a lively discussion about whether we should offer sympathy, empathy, and/or compassion to those we are working with. Our teacher shared his perspective, and together we came to a clear understanding of the differences among them.

Sympathy is a state in which we feel sorry for another person. We may even pity them and whatever circumstances are bringing about their sorrow. Sympathy does not usually stir us to action. Instead, we remain bystanders—listening, lamenting, and often falling into the same ditch of despair alongside them.

Empathy, on the other hand, allows us to feel what another person is feeling. It invites us to align with their suffering. While empathy brings us closer to understanding, it still does not necessarily move us to action. However, it is a step closer to the third and most transformative quality: compassion.

Compassion takes sympathy and empathy and brings them into action. Through compassion, we move with love. We recognize our unity with all of life, and we allow that awareness to guide our actions, our speech, and our state of mind.

Most of us are familiar with the Dalai Lama and his lifelong commitment to compassion. It is the foundation of his teachings and his way of life. When he says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion,” he is pointing to a deep truth: until we can live in unity with all people and all living beings—even those we do not agree with—and recognize that we are all on this journey together, peace will remain elusive.

Does this mean we do not stand up for justice or speak out against cruelty? Of course not. What it does mean is that rather than striking out in anger or hatred, we act from an understanding that people are on different journeys, at different levels of awareness, and that love is ultimately the answer to everything.

I believe compassion leads us into affirmative action guided by love. As we approach Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I find myself reflecting on Martin Luther King Jr. and his profound commitment to justice and freedom. He embodied compassion for all beings, and it was this compassion that gave him the strength to stand firmly in affirmative action. He stood for what he was for, not merely against what he opposed.

Perhaps that is the key. Compassion directs us toward the affirmative. When we are able to walk in another person’s shoes through empathy, we are better equipped to imagine loving solutions to the world’s problems—problems that all arise from the illusion of separation.

Albert Schweitzer wrote: “Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace.”

Affirmation:
“Compassion is the language my heart speaks fluently.”

In Compassion,

Rev. Dr. Rita Andriello-Feren

Co-Founding Spiritual Director, CSL Kaua‘i
Author • Veriditas Certified Labyrinth Facilitator • Consciousness Coach

Rita Andriello-Feren — Transformational storytelling that blends mysticism, New Thought, and emotional authenticity.