Tonight, after more than eight months of preparation alongside my work as a Spiritual Director, I am ready to stand on the stage and present a full concert of the music of Stephen Sondheim. I’m not sure how many will be in the audience. The books show 50, but it doesn’t matter. I manifested a comeback to my Divine Nature as a singer.

From the time I was eight years old — maybe before — music was and is my medicine. I was passionate about musical theater, Julie Andrews in particular. I also had a passion for Barbra Streisand. I spent many hours listening to them and doing my best to sing along. One of my favorite songs of Barbra’s was “People.” I sang it in a talent show in high school at the age of 17. I didn’t win. I was told my talent was natural, and that I hadn’t put in the hard work the pianist who won did.

One thing I’ve learned as an actor and singer is to accept rejection. It has assisted me throughout my life, allowing me not to take others’ opinions too seriously. Of course, I love constructive feedback — but I know the difference between judgment and helpful feedback.

I’ve studied voice from the time I was 19. It was my whole life, along with raising children, going to college, and working as a teacher. In my younger days, when my children were small, I would turn on the cassette recorder where I had all my lessons and vocalizations stored. I practiced while cooking and cleaning. I was dedicated, and it showed up as excellence and as many wonderful experiences performing in musicals and operas.

I never went to the professional stage. I had my opportunity when my father set up an audition for me at the Metropolitan Opera. I canceled. I just couldn’t do it. I told myself it was because I was raising a family, but I know it was more about not feeling secure or good enough to enter that huge arena. However, I never stopped singing.

During my days in L.A., something strange happened to me. I listened to the opinion of someone. His opinion stopped my voice for about ten years. I simply gave it up. Oh, I sang — but that opinion lingered in my subconscious and created a block to my true voice. I don’t blame him. I take responsibility for listening to the outside instead of to my true voice.

So how did I come to stand on the stage tonight in full voice? I decided to sing again. Through the help of a friend, Melissa Mojo, I found a pianist and coach who worked with me – Hank Curtis. I said to myself: Hank encouraged me and even put me out in public alongside himself. I was on my way.

Why did I choose Stephen Sondheim as my muse tonight? His music is challenging and his characters are real. The songs I chose tell true stories about real people with real troubles and real solutions. The lyrics are easy for me to connect with, and I’m sure they will be for the audience as well. His music is some of the most beautiful Broadway music I have ever had the privilege to sing.

Tonight I stand in full voice, in full emotion, and in full control of my songs, my characters, and my message: Don’t ever hold your true self back. Whatever you can conceive, you can achieve.

No one walks back to herself alone. Thank you to everyone who helped me find the way.

To Hank Curtis, my accompanist — a gifted composer and one of Kauaʻi’s most beloved musical artists. Hank has spent years accompanying singers on this island, and he has met every phrase of this music with generosity and artistry. Sondheim asks a great deal of a pianist. Hank makes it sound like conversation.

To Melissa, who connected me with hand and who joins me on “Our Time” from Merrily We Roll Along. Singing a duet is an act of trust, and she gave me hers.

To Kiana Kaʻahanui, one of our producers, whose delectables will greet you at the reception and whose work behind the scenes helped make tonight possible. Every performance rests on people the audience never sees.

And most of all, to my husband and soulmate, Patrick Feren. He is a performer in his own right, and we have shared the stage many times. Tonight he is supporting me as I shine — and he joins me for our duet from Sweeney Todd. My performance is dedicated to him, the love of my life.

Love and Aloha,

Rita

P.S. You can find information and tickets for Simply Spectacular Sondheim on our website, http://www.cslkauai.org. The concert will also be recorded and live-streamed for our global community beyond Kauaʻi — the stream link can also be purchased at our site.