Last night we were at dinner with friends. The conversation suddenly went south and I found myself in a negative tailspin. My husband looked across the table, as if to say, “Don’t go there.” But, I did and, to tell you the truth, for a moment it felt good. I was lamenting about some issue in my family life. It was good for a moment to have someone listen to me who hadn’t heard the story before. The story had captured my attention and I loved telling it. It was filled with feeling.
Why did I do it? Well, my friend opened the door, but it wasn’t his fault? I was looking for agreement. I was looking for help. I was looking for nothing really – just a way to be right.
Well, here’s how it goes. This morning I wake up with an aftertaste in my mouth. I do not feel any better about the situation and I haven’t accomplished anything. Now, I know better than to do what I did last night, but still I fell into the trap. I’m sure I’m not the only one that allows stories to take over a conversation either mentally or verbally or both.
So, how can I say I vibrate at the level of divinity and allow myself such frolic. I can’t and I know it. What do I do when I have a slip of the tongue such as this one? I must let it go. I must go back and heal what ails me. If the story is still there, some feeling needs to addressed and healed. It all comes down to this – It’s a belief that must be switched. I can do that. I am at choice.
What’s done is done. I just simply forgive myself and go back to what I know. Yes, really , it’s that simple. How do I avoid such downward swings in the future? I simply “stop it!” But, before that, I work on the situation in my own mind. I let go of those beliefs.
I don’t have the luxury any more for one negative moment like that. Really. My negative moments feed into the vibration of everyone else’s moments. I know this. I know better And so, I forgive myself right now and surrender to the knowing that I can start over in every moment right now.
Love and Aloha,