I know that the process of grief goes through many twists and turns. I don’t want to name them all, but one that occurs to me today is the questioning, the “What if… .” I went there for a moment this morning regarding the passing of a loved one – Nora. Then the voice within came strongly to me. You can’t say life is unfolding perfectly when everything is going the way you want it to, and then in the next moment deny it. Ernest Holmes, mystic and teacher would call this not knowing the Truth when things look the worst, which means that we do not know the Truth at all. That would not be me.
And so, what is the answer when it comes to deep pain and longing for things to be different? Really, what I am understanding from reading all the posts from everyone is that this is not about what we say we are in pain about at all. It is about us reacting to an experience and examining our own life and beliefs. We say it is about Nora, but really it is about us. We are the ones as individuals that have to come to peace. We are the ones that have to understand when we can’t. We are the ones that are looking at the very depths of our own soul and beliefs, and for some of us that scares us. We disguise it at some level as pain about Nora, but really it is our own pain that we have to deal with.
What I know right now is that I am at peace within. I do not feel any less steeped in faith here at the depth of sorrow. In fact, it is my faith that allows me to weep and cry and long for things to be different. I understand these are the human ways and my faith allows me to dabble there as long as I need to. We are meant to question or we would be robots. We have choice in the answers to those questions.
What do we really believe? What do we really know? At the end of the day, we each must have our own answer. For me, I know that even in this, some great mystery is unfolding and I want to know more. I am able to sit in mystery in great awe for the unknown. I am able to be in the unknown and yet know and trust that all is known at some level. I do not deter from the Truth in my heart that God is all there is and that I have all that is to move, not around this, above this, or between, but straight through this.
I bless the individual journey of Nora. I do not claim to understand it, except in that pure Love is what she is and that Love could never fail Nora or any of us. If we would just take a moment to get out of our chaotic minds, place our hand on our hearts and breathe into the Real Mind – the Heart Space, we would find answers, comfort and peace. I know this for each of us.
Ernest Holmes wrote, “Peace is the Power at the heart of God. It is through the revelation of the Self to the self that one understands life, that he/she approaches the Power which is at the Heart of God.”
We can say whatever we want, put on the masks and point out, but it’s all about the self – our individual journey back to wholeness. May your journey be a loving, peaceful and a grand journey, revealing Love every step of the way.
Love and Aloha,