I think that we are always growing, and that there might always be something else that we need to break through in order to be our best God self and demonstrate the life we say we want.
A few days ago, I had a disappointment. I had been waiting for the registration to open up for a conference I really wanted to attend. There was a delay in the registration opening up that lasted for a few months. I kept checking the website everyday at least once a day to make sure I registered as soon as it opened. Well, a couple of days ago, it opened, and sold out before I even had a chance to register.
I chatted with others who had a similar problem, and made up a bunch of stories as to why it happened. The company sold to people who had attended before first, or perhaps they wanted people who had already completed more class work, or perhaps I didn’t do something right, I even went as far as calling it a cult. I found myself actually sinking into a depression about it. Nothing life-threatening, but serious enough to ruin an evening. I wasn’t myself.
Before going to bed, I did a Spiritual Mind Treatment, claiming that whatever it was that made this experience so devastating for me, would surface so I could heal it. I certainly didn’t want my happiness relegated to some outside experience or person. I am in charge of my own happiness.
Upon awakening, the answer was there as clear as the new day. I used to be an actress and I always prepared myself to an excess for the parts I auditioned for. When I didn’t get the part, I did sink into a depression, feeling a sense of failure and not being good enough. I did spend some conversations discussing all the reasons I didn’t get it, including political favors, etc.
What a shock it was this morning to realize that I still had this sense of failure buried in my subconscious and that this incident with the conference brought up the exact same feelings. I wasn’t over something I thought I was over. What a gift this was because it brought something to the surface that still needed to be healed. It was my sense of self-worth and not being good enough. Everything that happens to us happens through us and for us. If we would look at all losses, tragedies and failures as opportunities to heal a part of ourselves, and be willing to dive in, how different and powerful our lives would be. Opportunities to grow in wisdom would be present in everything.
As far as the conference is concerned, not being able to go forced me to look at another opportunity that I might not have looked at. I am now on the way to the adventure of a lifetime with my beautiful husband. Also, I got the message, once again, loud and clear that it wasn’t necessary to look to outside people or events for my good or to feel good about myself.
Every opportunity, positive and negative can expand us or we can choose to constrict ourselves. I choose expansion. The Spirit within us is always here with the answers we need. We just have to ask and listen. Our subconscious is very powerful. It governs 95% of our thinking. If something is bothering you a little more than you think it should, more than likely there’s something worth looking at that might be lurking below the surface.
I invite us all to fearlessly look at our inner world, the light, the dark, all of it. It’s a treasure chest of gifts. However, we have to go beyond just looking; we have to do the work to heal whatever it is.
Life is a journey of expansion and it’s a choice as to whether or not we expand. I know that we have everything within us to assist us and nothing is too big for us to look at. Support and love are right where we are, and the right people show up at the right time to assist.
Love and Aloha,