When I was a young singer, studying seriously with a master teacher, I had many experiences that tested my conviction about myself as a singer. This particular teacher would test me, although I didn’t know it at time, to see if I had what she thought was the conviction and belief in myself to have a career in a very competitive and highly stressful field, where perfection was expected and required of those who called themselves opera singers. In the end, I did not live up to what she considered that stamina and conviction. She brought me to my knees in self-deprecation and I allowed it.
I learned many things from her in regards to the technique of singing that I feel have allowed me to still sing well as I grow older. In hindsight I also learned that one has to have belief in oneself and a conviction to succeed if we are to step into the arena in any field.
On this topic, New Thought Leader, Robert Bitzer wrote, “Keep faith with yourself, because until you keep faith with yourself, you cannot keep faith with people, and people will not keep faith with you.”
I later experienced other times when I did not keep faith with myself and paid the price in nights and days of victimhood, when all the time I had everything within me to stand up and be my true self, confident, not arrogant, in what I had to offer as a true spiritual intelligent being of great talent.
Bitzer continues on this topic of persons of faith in themselves, “This person is not overconfident or arrogant, and not humble either. There is a sense of assurance, a positiveness that is not overbearing, a demeanor that inspires you. You recognize that such a person knows who he or she is, knows what is going on, and knows how to attain goals.”
I believe I have grown into this person finally. I know what I want, I know who I am and I know how to attain goals. I am grateful for the trials and the errors that I have gone through to finally reach this place. I realize that each part of my journey was perfect.
We cannot reach this place of conviction and confidence falsely or pretentiously. I has to be real. I also recognize that in order to stay in this state of mind, I must practice the Presence daily, stay clear, in integrity, be flexible, and be definite on Principle.
I have had many experiences in my almost ten years of ministry that have tested my conviction, most recently this Coronavirus pandemic and its affects on our Center for Spiritual Living. I have had to dig deep into Principle and allow it to back all my decisions.
I know the Coronavirus has brought up many tests for all of us on where we stand in belief about our lives and our values. It has presented us with a test of faith. It has asked us to go within or suffer the consequences of being swayed by the beliefs of others. It has asked us to be compassionate. It has asked us to give from a deep place and to open up and receive when we do not necessarily see anything in front of us. It has asked us to step into the unknown and live in the moment, or to get trapped in futurizing doom and gloom. It has truly tested our conviction for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
As the world begins to open up again, where do we stand? Are we willing to accept and allow everyone to be exactly where they are in consciousness. Are we compassionate to each other no matter what we believe? Are we willing to not just talk conviction about our truth, but actually back it up with our actions?
I believe in a Principle that is Love in Action. I believe in a Principle that is freedom of choice. I believe that my choices are subject to the Law of Cause and Effect and ask me to “do no harm.” I am dedicated and committed to the role I have taken as “minister for life,” when I was ordained. This is my true calling and place in the world and I am convicted in continuing in this calling and knowing that with this decision, the Law of my being takes care of the ways and means by which it is fulfilled.
I am grateful for Center for Spiritual Living Kaua
i and all the good it has done and is doing in the world. I thank everyone for reminding me of this daily with your notes and FB posts. I also appreciate those comments that suggest the opposite, because it is the faith that I have in myself and CSL Kauai’s mission that keeps it alive and well in my mind and heart. That faith in myself must be sufficient.
I trust that me sharing this has helped you in some way as you examine your life amidst these challenging time when our faith has been truly tested. I know that we all have the power of faith and conviction for ourselves, and that as soon as we decide what we want and how we want to live, we have the power to make our dreams come true. I invite us to trust in the great Law of our being that makes all things so.
In Love and Truth,