I remember a game I played with my children when they were babies. It was called “So Big!” I don’t know where I learned it, but I used to sit in front of them and ask in a childlike voice, “How big is ________(name)! Then I’d put my arms up up in the air and exclaim, “So Big!” Pretty soon, my baby would be answering the question her/himself by putting his/her arms up as as soon as I asked the question.
I’m thinking about this now, and wondering what I would have told my children if I knew what I know now. I would have told them, yes, they were big and could do big things in the most expansive way anytime they chose. We are programmed as children with the things that our parents say to us. We are like an empty chest waiting to be filled with information that we possibly carry with us the rest of our lives. Hopefully, for most of us that information has been good stuff; however, I know that isn’t always the case. I’ve had to spend a lot of time in my adult years reprogramming what I was taught as a child, and also savoring some of the good stuff.
However, let me get back to this idea of being “So Big!” Have you ever felt like you want to do more, be more, express more? I have and I still do. It seems that there is always this urge within me to do something greater, better. I try not to compare myself to others, but still, I do sometimes. I like the idea of having people in my life that are either at my level of development or beyond me. It is inspiring.
I know that this urge to do more, be more and express more is the natural state of our being. We are expansive and expansion is our innate nature as Divine Beings. I invite us not to ignore these urges that come up. It’s called by many names “Divine Discontent,” and “Divine Urge” are two of the names of these feelings. Sometimes when the feeling comes up, we want to immediately address it and move forward. I’m sure there are times when that will happen, but most of the time, it takes a moment to get in touch with that inner voice and really listen.
We are “So Big!” and we have a whole “Self” to explore and get to know. The trip inward is filled with discoveries when we let go of what we think we know and sit in the quiet, listen and then truly follow that inner voice. There are some big things happening for many of us and moving forward is a good thing.
Love and Aloha,
Rev. Rita Andriello-Feren, Spiritual Director CSL Kaua`i