I am back from a six day journey into the past for my husband, but into the unknown for me. I was able to travel alongside him into his past and experience things and people I’d never met or seen before. I can’t say it was a restful journey. I wonder why? I think it is because when we are in the unknown, whether it is an unknown city or an unknown situation or with an unknown person, we spend time getting our footing. We have to confront who we truly are. We may even feel that we cannot totally let ourselves be known. What if we are not liked? Who does the other person want to see? Are we safe in a new environment?
The best way to treat the unknown is with total trust in ourselves, our true selves. Being ourselves will attract to us the people who vibrate with that self. While I was at my husband’s reunion, I found that to be the case. I mingled around on mine own trying to strike up conversations. It was working on the superficial level, but something was missing. It was that deep connection. I’m not sure where she came from and I don’t even remember her name, but suddenly I was in a deep conversation with someone about the things in life that mattered to the both of us. I was authentic, and so was she. Then another lady approached me and offered me a secret stash of champagne she had brought with her. We bonded on another level.
I just completed reading a book called “The Camino Within.” It was written by a person who trekked the Camino de Santiago several times. One of the things he wrote about being in the unknown was to not judge, but instead to become an observer. I found that to be the case during the various events of this trip back in time. I didn’t have room for judgement and I spent a lot of time observing. I received many gifts.
When I returned home, I told my husband I thought the trip was rather exhausting. It was in the physical sense, but emotionally, now as I look back on it, I see that the emotional me was actually restored by the trip. I observed life, a different life than my own, from a non judgmental point of view. I came back with great appreciation for my life, for where I live, for my relationships. I also came back with a great respect for others and how they live. We are all different, and isn’t that wonderful.
Observing a life that is different than our own and thrusting ourselves into the unknown is a time of opening up to what is possible and also knowing that we always have the possibility of a different choice for our life. We realize that it is our choices that have brought us to where we are and that we can always choose again.
I would say that this trip, which I am still digesting, will bring out other discoveries, as I open up and spend the time allowing myself to make those discoveries without judgement of myself or others and instead becoming a great observer. I also understand something about myself. I need to travel out of my comfort zone even more.
Love and Aloha,
Rev. Rita Andrilelo-Feren, Co-Founding Director CSL Kaua`i and the Institute of Magnificence and Author of “What Do I Need to KNOW? 101 Thoughts That Changed My Life” and “This Thing Called Treatment,” both available on Amazon.