What a Week! A Lesson in Self-Worth

It’s amazing what we put ourselves through. This past week, I found myself deeply engaged in trying to change a situation from the outside in—an impossible task!

What I’ve come to understand is how powerful I am and how much I have succeeded in creating a beautiful space here on Kaua’i alongside my husband and Co-Spiritual Director. Yet, I haven’t fully appreciated myself. Instead, I’ve often sought reassurance from the outside world, questioning whether I am “good enough” and whether what I have built is “good enough.”

Here’s what I’ve learned—and I hope it helps you too.

When we seek external validation, the universe reflects back to us everything that reinforces our self-doubt. The insults, the gossip—they all show up, confirming our fears. It’s elementary science, like a boomerang returning exactly what we throw out. The more energy we give to these thoughts, the bigger they become, much like a snowball rolling downhill, gathering mass as it goes.

But here’s the truth: it’s all in the mind. The problem isn’t as big as I made it out to be—it only felt that way because I magnified it in my thoughts. I turned it into a reality in the world of conditions when, in fact, it was merely a mental construct.

I’m finished with that version of myself. I hold no blame toward anyone, not even myself. This has simply been a learning experience, a big lesson in self-validation.

The Only True Validation Comes from Within

The only place you will ever find true validation and worth is from within. The way you see yourself shapes how you see the world.

Now, you might be wondering: “How do I find validation from within?” These are the methods I use:

1. Spiritual Mind Treatment (Affirmative Prayer)

I practice what is called a Spiritual Mind Treatment, an affirmative prayer that moves energy in the One Mind or universal field. If you’re unfamiliar with this, think of it as tapping into the quantum field—a mental and spiritual space that connects us all. This process helps me collapse old patterns of energy and open myself to a new way of thinking. It allows me to shift limiting beliefs into empowering ones and affirm the truth of who I really am.

After doing my Treatment, I reaffirm these truths throughout my day, repeating them as often as needed.

2. Meditation & Breathwork

I spend time in solitude, connecting with my highest self through meditation. I use specific breathing techniques that help me find balance. One of my favorites is Heart/Brain Breathing—slowing down my breath, focusing on my heart, and bringing up the energy of gratitude. This simple practice has a profound effect on my state of mind.

3. Practicing Gratitude

Every morning, I consciously state at least three things I am grateful for. At night, I do the same. There is always something to appreciate—just being alive is a celebration. Gratitude shifts my focus away from what is lacking and toward the abundance that already exists.

4. Movement & Ho’oponopono Prayer

I make sure to move my body every day. While walking, I practice the Ho’oponopono prayer, a simple but profound mantra:

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.”

This prayer speaks to the highest part of myself, acknowledging that I may have momentarily forgotten my truth but am now remembering. It helps clear any energy that needs to be released and realigns me with love and forgiveness. I repeat this as often as needed until I feel a shift.

A Powerful Lesson in Self-Trust

This week, I’ve learned something profound: I am amazing, and I am the only one who needs to know that.

I’ve also realized that because I am actively engaged in my life’s work, I have the responsibility to make decisions that serve this work and the people involved. And that responsibility begins with serving myself and aligning with my highest ideals.

Making choices from a place of integrity, compassion, and the highest good requires deep trust in myself. Of course, I collaborate with my Co-Spiritual Director, but my inner trust must come first.

One of the main reasons I suffered this past week was my own doing—trying to explain and defend my point of view instead of simply standing in my truth.

Heart-Centered Action: A Different Perspective

Heart-centered action, which we’ll be speaking about this Sunday, isn’t about running around doing a bunch of good deeds. It starts with getting centered in your own heart. Only from that place of alignment can inspired action emerge.

Sometimes, heart-centered action is purely internal work, like the practices I’ve described. Until we feel grounded in our inner truth, we cannot take meaningful action in the outer world.

Final Reflection

This has been an exhausting yet powerful week. But I’ve learned something crucial: exhaustion is often mental. It comes from forcing, proving, and pushing instead of simply remembering who we are and acting from that place.

I hope this reflection helps you in your own journey.

With love and gratitude,
Dr. Rita Andriello-Feren, Author, Co-Founding Director CSL Kaua`i