This month, I celebrated my 72nd birthday. I really can’t believe I’m 72 years old. I do not feel like an “old woman.” In fact, I don’t feel physically much different than I did as a young person. When I look in the mirror, I’m actually surprised by what I see—me, with a few wrinkles and the same smile. Not 20, 30, 40, or even 50, but mature and ripened.

However, this is not what I want to write about on this auspicious month of turning 72. I want to write about what I’ve learned about life. I’ve learned a lot, and I still continue to expand, so nothing I write is definite. It’s just where I am right now. I intend to keep learning. These points that I share are the beliefs I’ve acquired over the years; however, they are beliefs I put into practice every day. I can always change my beliefs—and I’ve changed quite a few to get to where I am now. I’m sure I’ll change a few more before I go, because I’m always growing.

1. This is the most important thing I’ve learned, and it has literally changed my life:
   There is no outside “God.” Instead, God is who I am and who you are. I can’t prove this to you, because it is a belief and a feeling. I have done—and continue to do—the inner work necessary to live this Principle, and every day, my belief gets stronger. I came from a Christian/Catholic background, so this was the most monumental change in belief I’ve had. It has had a profoundly positive effect on my life.
2. All my beliefs have been acquired over my lifetime, and many of them came at a time when I wasn’t fully conscious. As a child, I learned a lot from adults and simply accepted it. Some of these beliefs were not the best for me. The good news is: I can rewire my brain. In other words, I can change what I believe through meditation, affirming new beliefs, practicing Spiritual Mind Treatment, and putting those beliefs into action.
3. I can forgive, and it is the most powerful thing I can do for my healing. I forgive by letting go of the emotional attachment to the experience or person I feel has wronged me. I do not forget the experience, but I release its hold on me. I believe you have a choice—you can rule your memories, or you can be ruled by them. I choose to be the one in charge.
4. I have a form of prayer called Spiritual Mind Treatment, which is affirming what is already true. It is a movement of energy in a definite direction, and it definitely changes the information in the quantum field. When I am receptive and accepting of that change, my physical experience shifts.
5. Self-love is the most powerful healing balm. It is the foundation of all loving relationships. I bring nothing of value to a relationship until I love myself. Otherwise, I am only projecting my lack of love onto the other person, desperate for them to fulfill what I haven’t given myself.
6. It is possible to have a loving relationship that works. I’ve been married twice: once to the father of my children and the second time to my soul mate, Patrick Feren. What I’ve learned from both experiences is that before entering a loving, intimate relationship—besides practicing self-love—you must know who you are and what you want from life. In healthy relationships, people have the space to grow as individuals, which enhances the relationship. People don’t own each other. They are simply journeying together and assisting each other on the path of growth—spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
7. It’s possible to be healthy even when you don’t feel well. Health is an attitude. It’s about knowing that your innate being is wired for healing and wholeness. I always think about how a cut heals from the inside out. We do the same.
8. Once we raise our children, we must let them experience their own journey. My birth family tried to hold on to me and instill their beliefs in me. Fortunately, I broke away. Because of that, I’ve faced challenges—but I’ve also learned how to solve those challenges and develop my own beliefs.
9. I do not have a lot of close friends, but those I have truly know me. What’s the point of being with someone with whom you cannot be yourself—pimples and all? My friends don’t try to fix me. They are just there for me. They listen and ask good questions that lead me to my own answers.
10. Whenever I’m frustrated, angry, or sad, I create something. I might write, sing, paint, or cook. Creativity always heals what ails me. I believe it’s because creativity is our true nature. When we are feeling stuck, it releases us back into that true nature. We remember who we are.
11. In the Science of Mind, we are taught that Spirit creates by becoming the thing it makes. This means we are always creating—not with words, but by becoming. It’s another way of saying “act as if it is already true.” When we feel the feelings of the life we say we want, and walk into the world with those feelings—especially the feeling of gratitude—life shifts.
12. It is a mental universe, and what I focus on grows. It’s like shining a light on an object in the dark. As soon as you do that, the object appears. I am careful where I shine my light. I’ve had the experience of enlarging a problem just by thinking about it and focusing on it, instead of focusing on what I want and how I want to feel.

These are just twelve principles I’ve learned through experience and practice over the years. There is more, and there will always be more. We are built for change, and as Jesus once said, “Greater things than this shall ye do.” He knew that life is always spiraling upward and always expanding.

I have dedicated my life to the journey—and to helping others on their journeys. I believe, as Socrates stated, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I continue to examine, to be open to change, and to look for the good everywhere.

Love and Aloha,
Rev. Dr. Rita Andriello-Feren, Author and Co-Founding Director CSL Kaua`i

PS: Here is what Joselito Laudencia wrote about my book What Do I Need to Know?

“What a powerful book! Let your fingers guide you to any page and there you can find the right and perfect message for you.

Rev Rita blends spiritual wisdom with the practical. Writing about her personal experiences and thoughts, she shares the realness of everyday life, in all its beauty and sometimes messiness. I appreciate how she doesn’t shy away from the challenges so many of us face. Instead, she encourages us to look beyond the superficial experiences to find spiritual meaning and invites us to new ways of seeing.

With each story, affirmation and a grounding spiritual perspective, she reminds us that we get to choose how we look at life, and when we change our outlook, we change our experience.

After spending time reading her words and contemplating how I could apply the lessons to my own life, I have new tools to expand my own understanding of what life is, and what kind of life I could create it to be.”