Last night, I experienced a guided meditation that began with these words, “I’m going to die and I don’t know when…” The meditation proceeded to repeat and expound on this idea in various ways. As I sat there with my eyes closed, breathing deeply and trying to remain as open as possible to the ideas presented for my contemplation, I found myself rebelling. It was against everything I had come to believe about death. I wanted an explanation of that the word “die” meant. I couldn’t ask, because I had to leave before the meeting ended. I left with many questions. The biggest one was what do I really believe about death.
Of course, I know that I will leave this earth plane at some point. Do I believe I don’t know when? That is debatable. I believe that on some level we choose everything either consciously or unconsciously. I believe in choice and choice is eternal.
What is death? The more I live, the more I come to feel that death is part of the journey of Life. I believe that Life just is. Death for me is change or transition. We are always changing, transitioning, dying, changing. I am not the same person I was even last night.
Where do I go when I die? Frankly, right now I do not know. Why would I bother myself with the future. How could I know the answer to that question? The most important thing is to live. What I want to experience and assist others with is living as if we were dying in every moment. Living is the most important thing to me.
When I use the word “living,” I mean living my fullest and best self. I mean not procrastinating those things I say I want to experience. I mean forgiving and forgiving again. I mean learning to love myself unconditionally. I mean letting go of obstructions to loving. I mean letting go of smallness and embracing my relationship with God.
If I can live really well, then when death comes, I will have everything I could ever require in that moment. If I can improve my relationship with God – the Self – every moment, then when that time comes, I will have all the support I need to make the journey.
I truly believe this and I invite us all to live fully. I invite us all to be present here and now. I invite us all to make good choices for ourselves in every moment – choices that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. I invite us to die to everything that holds us back from a consciousness of unity.
Do I die? It depends on how you define that word. If die means annihilation or an end to my consciousness, I do not believe that. It is illogical because of what I know and read, and mostly what I feel deeply. If die means I am leaving my physical body to continue the eternal journey, then yes inevitably I do die.
It’s something like what St. Francis said, “and in dying we are born to eternal life” with the added idea that we don’t have to die to be born to eternal life. We are eternal life. We don’t die to be immortal. This is immortality.
These are the things I believe right now. They feel true and right for me. I am open to change my ideas. I am open to deeper and deeper contemplation. I highly invite us all to journey into what we believe and to live fully.