Have you ever felt like you were trying to tell others and the rest of the world how what you believe would be so good for them? It is an easy trap to fall into. You witness unhappiness or stress or illness in others and you just want to fix it. Your feelings come from a place of wanting to help. You just feel if they could just think the way you do, everything would be better for them.

This might sound strange coming from someone who is a minister, but I have come to understand that we cannot help another person or group of people by talking at them. We cannot give them books to read or tell them they should watch this movie or that. It just doesn’t work, and it is a turn off. I have had people do it to me and, yes, I have done it to others. I’ve been turned off by it and I’m sure they are too. Sometimes, they let me know and other times they just disappear from my life.

Ernest Holmes once wrote that we shouldn’t try to give people another God thinking it is a better one for them. How do we know, anyway? First of all whatever anyone believes is right for them. Even if in our eyes it doesn’t seem to be working, that is not necessarily true. Many people just like their lives the way their lives are. They are comfortable where they are, even if it is not what we would choose for ourselves. No one is wrong and no one is right. We just are. The only place, I, Rita, draw the line is if someone is hurting someone else or me purposefully and that is not being discussed here.

What I am finding is the best way to help others is to just live your principles and be an example. If they want to know more, they will come to you and ask. It’s simple really. No one is wrong and no one is right. Everyone has their path. We are not here to save anyone or force our beliefs on them. We are here to love, allow, have unconditional for ourselves and others.

Love and Aloha,

Rev. Rita