There is an old saying, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” I always took it to mean to adapt to where you are and don’t try to fight it. Assimilate! Fit in! I’m doing that right now. I am in the midst of many people who do not act or believe the way I do. I am accepting this and being with this, but I cannot do as the Romans do. I have to stay true to myself, so many times, I remain silent and I listen.

Keeping you on this journey with me is most helpful. Thank you. For those of you, who are just joining me, my mom, a deep Catholic, passed away and I am here attending to everything with my brothers and sister. Today, we are going to the mortuary and to meet with the family priest and to bring the clothes that my mom will where for her open-casket visitation. I’ve been chosen to write and do the Eulogy and possibly all the readings, too, because my brothers and sisters won’t speak in public. Of course, I’m the actress and now the minister, so I am the choice.

So, I will be reading from the Bible and giving the best eulogy I can give for my mother, both honoring her, her beliefs, while at the same time making it true for me. I am good at this. I am good at respecting and assimilating.

Yes, I am good at fitting in and making people feel comfortable. It’s my gift. The way I deal with it without going crazy and screaming “Stop, everyone, don’t you know…” is to take lots of deep breaths and to realize that everyone knows what they know and it isn’t any better or worse than what I know. It’s just all beliefs and nothing else. When Jesus asked, “What is Truth?,” I get it. What is Truth?

I can still live truthfully in this moment without a fight. Like I said, there are a lot of quiet moments and there are a lot of loving moments. Love really is the glue that holds this all together for me. Love for myself and love for everyone for where we each are with this thing I choose to call the aftermath and unfolding after the transition of one’s mother. People of different beliefs and viewpoints, feelings and emotions all coming together to experience it.

Staying Centered with Love and Aloha,

Rev. Rita