Victim or Authority?

This morning I woke up with a full heart. I was thinking of my father again and all that he went through during WWII. (See my blog from May 28). I was struck by the thought of forgiveness and how important it is in our lives.

What do I define as forgiveness? I believe it is the ability to accept everyone exactly where they are and not take anything that has happened to us personally. It is about releasing blame. No one really did anything to us even though it seems that way.  It doesn’t mean I am condoning behavior; I’m just not taking it personally. People do what they do regardless of who they do it to. What if we were just the object of a behavior that was a result of an unresolved issue in the other person?

I’ll go back to my own personal experience with my father. He was most definitely tormented by his past. He even told me about it. I’m amazed that someone with PTSD, as he must have had given what he went through, was able to live life as normally and fully as he did. More then likely, although I will never know, his spiritual base carried him through whether consciously or unconsciously. Because I ended up the receiver of much of his unexpressed and unacknowledged grief is not something I can ever hold against him. I must let it go if I am to be victorious in my own life.

I refuse to be a victim. I do not blame anyone for anything I experienced in my childhood or experience now. Instead, I accept it as something that was or is there for my own spiritual evolution. I caused my father a lot of torment, too, because of my rebellious spirit. I’m sure he grew in someway because of me. We were both there for each other and when it was time to let go, I did.

So now, what would be the point now of holding on to all that and letting it affect my present, giving me excuses for not feeling good about myself or being insecure or a myriad of other falsities? I am of a belief system that accepts 100% responsibility for my experiences and how I react to them. Does this mean that people have the right to abuse children and rob and steal and the myriad other crimes we commit on our fellow brothers and sisters? No, of course not. Arguing this point is just arguing for our limitations.

As I wrote yesterday, we are not doormats allowing ourselves to be walked on wherever we go. The question is what are we going to do with something that has already happened? Relive it and give it power or release it and sit in our Power? I choose the latter.

Forgiveness is releasing the past experience and the people involved to their highest good. It is realizing that everything is for us, not against us. It is knowing that there is a Power within us that is greater than anything that we have experienced. It is there for us as soon as we allow ourselves to reveal it.

I had a great overwhelming love for my father this morning and for the life he lived and tried to share with me, even though he did it ignorantly, with force, and determination to MAKE me want it.

We act in the way we are taught when we are unconscious of our true identity. As Ernest Holmes wrote, “Life is a blackboard upon which we consciously or  unconsciously write those messages which govern us. We hold the chalk and the eraser in our hand but are ignorant of this fact.”

If we are having an experience of being victimized now or in the past, it might be time to stop the cycle, to re-think it, release it and move on. Get help if help is needed. We are the ones writing the story of our lives – ALL OF IT. We write the story. We cast the characters. We get to decide how we will live it and how it will be end. We can’t be victims and claim authority over our lives at the same time.

Love and Aloha,

Rev. Rita

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