My ex-husband used to do all the repairs and building around the house. One of the things I recall is his frustration when he didn’t have the right tools. He used to whine about not being able to get the job done or how long it would take without the right tools. I am reminded of this as I have been challenged by several tragedies this year, the most recent being the sudden passing of my best friends’ nineteen year old daughter.
I’ve been writing about this experience for the past couple of weeks and I will continue to share my process with you when it seems appropriate. As I meditated this morning, these words rose up in me, “I have tools!”
Yes, I do have tools and I’ve been collecting them and keeping them in good order for over twenty years. I have a spiritual tool chest that allows me to move through the experiences of the past couple of weeks with strength. My peace of mind, although not always explainable, is right under the surface of all my thoughts. I have tools spiritual tools!
The most prevalent one is my faith. There is a knowing within me that allows me to ride the wave of grief and pain, knowing that I will make it to the shore safely. This faith didn’t just come upon me suddenly. Although faith is a gift of the Spirit, it has to be cultivated. It doesn’t just spring up from nowhere. I’ve been working on this one a long time. I am grateful for faith.
I have a practical and powerful tool that I use 24/7 called Spiritual Mind Treatment. I speak my Word, giving myself Light when darkness begins to overcome me. My own Word spoken out loud is like a lightning bolt striking the darkness and shattering it, sometimes slowly and sometimes with a sudden and strong jolt. I find myself back to my Self.
I have the ability to affirm, not just making things up in the moment, but affirmations that I have used over and over until they have become a part of me and by just speaking them I can bring a change of heart.
I have the tool of meditation. I get to go within anytime, not just the time I set apart in the morning. Any time, I need to, I can quiet my mind right where I am, whether in the middle of a busy airport or right before I go to sleep. I can feel the opening to Spirit through the channel of my heart.
I have the tool of being able to call upon friends and other practitioners when I have a moment of uncertainty and pain. I cannot feed upon their faith, but they can bring me back to my own. I have the tool of reaching out.
There are other tools like my love of service. Moving my hands and heart for others brings comfort when I do not know what else to do.
I have tools, and although it might be on one of the most difficult building and repair projects of my life, my tools allow me to feel pain and cry, while at the same time rejoicing in the knowing that I will get through this. I will be stronger. I will be more compassionate. I will have more to offer. I will eventually have all the understanding I require. This time will build my faith and bring me even more tools.
The greatest tool I have is the chest that holds all the tools. That chest is Love. Love trumps it all and it is always available. Love is the container – Spirit – Me. It rises up when I do not have the strength to reach into the chest at all. Love is and I am grateful.
Love and Aloha,