When I think of her, I wonder if she isn’t right here nudging me, wanting to say something or if it is just a missing of her that will never go away. I think we miss those who die perhaps because we really do not believe we will see them again. If we did, if we had this faith, our missing would be more like the kind we have when someone we love goes on a trip or away for some reason.
In this morning’s reading of the Science of Mind, Ernest Holmes spoke of man/woman not being born in bondage. The Creative Intelligence would not create a life of bondage. We must be born in freedom is the gist of the reading on page 25.
In memory of his daughter, who made her transition several years ago, Dr. Jim Lockard put an amazing quote by Joseph Campbell on his Facebook page in honor of her birthday. “The conquest of the fear of death is the recovery of life’s joy. One can experience an unconditional affirmation of life only when one has accepted death, not as contrary to life, but as an aspect of life. Life in its becoming is always shedding death, and on the point of death, the conquest of fear yields the courage of life.” The Power of Myth
I have lost many people to death this year. My husband and I marvel at how many. There was no age to the number. The ages ranged from 13 to 87. Death just seem to come this year in more numbers than we ever remember in one year.
Each death has surely made me think deeper about my life. Each death made me conscious of how I am spending my moments, what I am investing my energy in, and how I am showing up in the world. Each death has made me realize that I, too, will someday pass through death’s door.
So, I still wonder about death and I seek answers to the feelings of loss. I cannot tell you how many times in a day I think about my mom who passed away in April. If I bring this idea of bondage and freedom to this idea of mourning and death, it gives me somewhat of an answer to start working with. If the Creative Intelligence leaves us in freedom, then the only kind of freedom we must have is the freedom of how we think about things. We have the freedom of choice. We might not choose what happens to us, but what happens to us must happen through us so it leaves me with only one conclusion: our thoughts and feelings are creative. Our feelings which come from our beliefs create our thoughts. How we think creates our feelings towards our experiences and changes them accordingly. Was it Shakespeare that wrote, “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking make its so.”
So perhaps, it is true. Once I begin thinking of death, as Joseph Campbell wrote, as part of life and stop fearing it, then death will change. It will not be a morbid thing, but something exciting and something that we are more than ready for when the time comes.
I remember two times when I thought I was going to die. One was on a plane after we were hit by lightning, the other during the missile alert last year here on Hawaii. What I remember about these times was that I was not afraid, but at peace and in surrender. It actually felt great. What if we were to just know that when the time comes for death or anything else for that matter, that we have everything we need to pass through it.
We can choose our feelings by shifting our beliefs. It’s all up to us. I can choose to continue to explore the relationship with my mom in a new way and know that the answers will come. I can choose to accept that I am coming to understand death at a deeper level. I am at choice and the only choice I have is how I think about everything. I can choose to be morbid or choose to have faith. I can choose to surrender to the unknown or to hold onto my fears. I cannot have fear and faith at the same time. I choose faith rather than fear. My choices will change my experiences. I trust and believe this. Now I must get to spiritual work.
Love and Aloha,