I am in constant search of answers to life’s journey. I am especially connected to the knowing that healing is always possible.

Yesterday, some very young people left this earth plane by means of a horrendous car crash here on Kaua’i. Our small Island immediately moved into a state of mourning for the loss of these youth and the impact this loss has and will have on their family and friends. The sorrow is beyond comprehension for those directly involved. We are by-standers, hearts open wanting to soothe the pain in some way. Let us not fool ourselves. As well meaning and loving as we are, the journey of these parents and family is their own to take. We can only stand with open hearts and wait for our opportunity to give some comfort, to serve in some way.

I know this because last year at this time, my dear friends lost their daughter in a similar way. I went to help, to comfort, to do what I could. All I wanted was to take the pain away, to bring her back, to do something that would make things different for my friends. I couldn’t. And so, I stood by with an open heart, waiting for any opportunity that opened to give something, even if it was just to wash the dishes or go to the store for an ordinary household item. I just held space and that, sometimes, is all that is needed.

Now, a year later with the gaping wound still open, I received the extra reminder because of this similar experience here on Kaua’i. My heart is open and I wait for still another opportunity to offer some kind of support. However, I never lose faith and I know that each journey is purposeful in its individuality. I know that beneath it all, within it all, there is some eternal process that is going on. We are not meant to suffer. And, yet, we do? Why?

As much as I know that these loved ones are right here, for I have felt my own from the other side, I want more. I want to hold them again, to talk about all the things left unsaid, to experience more with them. These are human needs and desires and very real.

And then, ultimately, there comes a time of surrender to the mystery. There comes a time of faith in the process. There comes a time of accepting that things are different, at least for now. There comes a time when finally we just go on and find happiness where we are. Sometimes, we even find a renewed purpose from our loss. And, sometimes, we are stuck in a maze of loss. The journey is individual and I accept that.

And still, I want answers. I know I will receive them as soon as I am open to understanding at a deeper level. Ernest Holmes once wrote that we couldn’t expect to understand everything the great mystics said until we had their consciousness. So, I think the best way to maneuver through these human experiences is to work on my consciousness. Any tragedy or misfortune is just a call to go deeper. The dark night of the soul, said Anita Moorjoni, would not be possible if we did not have the tools to maneuver through it. 

We are stronger than we think. We are more powerful than we ever imagined. We came here with a working system that is totally and completely reliant on how we think and perceive our experiences. There is a rhythm and a rhyme behind everything and as soon as we get in sync with it, we will learn the song well enough to sing it.

My heart and prayers are with all of us who have suffered loss. It’s not just another Thanksgiving. It never will be.

Love and Aloha,

Rev. Rita