I just experienced an amazing but different Christmas. Can we accept that even traditions can be different. There is a saying, “Nothing in the world is permanent and we are foolish to ask anything to last, but we are even more foolish not to take delight in it when we have it,” written by the author Sommerset Maughan. I have always turned to this quote in times when I am afraid of losing something. Its sentiment helps me to remember to stay present and enjoy what is now.

So, this Christmas was special in that I had my youngest daughter and her family with me. I was struck with the moments of just being together without any struggle to do something. Oh, they did plenty of water and hiking activities, but when we were together, it was enough to just be. It included cooking, eating and talking about everything from politics to religion to each of our lives.

The reason I’m bringing all of this up is because I was able to stay present. I never thought “oh, they are leaving soon or I wish they would stay longer.” It was perfect to just let it be what it was. This was Juxtaposed with some points of turmoil that were going on in other areas of my life. This idea of impermanence and the feeling that things never go on forever, helped me to realize that in the moment, whether something is going on that is wonderful, or whether something is going on that is challenging, it is not lasting. Nothing is lasting, except maybe one’s own ability to live fully amidst change and impermanence. If we truly believe that there is a part of us that is changeless and can be relied on, we can face impermanence and ride through trials.

Deepak Chopra wrote, “The present moment dies every moment to become the past, is reborn every moment into the future. All experience is now. Now never ends.” It’s about staying present and awake in the moment that helps me to get through everything. Today, I had an encounter with a person who lunged at me in anger with his words. I found myself getting very upset after. It was an unexpected assault and I was left speechless. I did not retaliate. I’ve been studying the Stoic principles of non attachment and knew better than to engage. I simply walked away, but not without feelings of hurt. I am reminded of a quote by Ernest Holmes, Founder of Religious Science, who challenged us to never let our feelings be hurt.” I understand this quote in the context of that encounter because, I know this person’s remarks were not about me, they were about him. As I think back on it now, I have compassion for this person. I also have compassion for myself. At the same time, I can keep replaying the moment, keeping it alive in my mind. However, then I would be robbed of being awake in the present. If I embrace the idea of impermanence, I can better let it go to an experience that need not be repeated. I can take a deep breath, love myself and send light to this person.

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we are foolish to ask anything to last.” There will be moments that can rob us of our present moment if we let them. Or there can be moments that make us appreciate our present moments and the gift of being awake in a challenge and using it to grow and expand consciousness. Where is the gift? is always a good question. If I stay present, I will receive the answer.

I do believe that whatever is presented at my doorstep is not there to make me feel guilty about myself, but instead to give me a clue to what inner strength I need to develop. Everything I need to know is within me. Infinite Intelligence intuits through each of us. When we stay awake in the present, I do believe we will know what to do in every moment.

With Love and Aloha,

Dr. Rita Andriello-Feren, Author and Co-Founding Spiritual Director CSL Kaua`i