This past Sunday, our talk title at Center or Spiritual Living Kaua`i was “Love is in the Air.” It was the ending to a month celebrating Love. Not love as an emotional response in the world of form, but the deep Love that is the essence of each and everyone of us. “Love is the Self-Givingingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express itself in terms of creation,” wrote Ernest Holmes. In other words, Love is the Creative Force aback of everyone and everything. It is the impulse of Life. It is the Energy that moves the Universe. I love another explanation of Love by Ernest Holmes that says “Love is a Cosmic Force whose sweep is irresistible.”

So, I wasn’t there at the Center this Sunday physically to talk on the topic because I was home experiencing the worst of sinus infections due to an infected tooth, or so it seemed. All my treatments and Patrick’s and everyone else’s healing energy sent to me could not stop it from moving through my body.

Firstly, you have to understand that I am rarely sick. Perhaps once every year or so with a cold or something minor. This infection seemed come catapulting out of the nothingness, but I know that is not true. I had just completed one of the most strenuous two months in the Center and I had not stopped. Then, came the sudden passing of our beloved cat, Prince Krishna. I was destined for a crash and it came, stopping me in my tracks and leaving me lying flat in bed just wanting to sleep. I’m a terrible patient and I’m also a resister. I will go a long time before I will admit myself to myself. With everything I know spiritually speaking, I still can wait until the last minute to give myself the self-care that I require. This was one of those moments. I commit to leaving this trait behind along with this infection.

So, what have I learned in this exactly 8 days of experiencing illness? It came very strongly to me this morning during my meditation, when I opened up to the answer instead of just treating and moving on. It was all about self-love and self-forgiveness. I didn’t realize how much self-forgiveness I needed to go through in the area of self-care and my feelings about my teeth. It’s a long story and I won’t go into it, but let it just be said that my teeth have been a fort of resistance within me for a long time.

Do we pay the price for our mistakes? Not in the way you are thinking. We pay the price in the consequences of our thoughts of self-condemnation and self-loathing. I might be being over-dramatic, but I’m serious. Today, I discovered I had a lot of self-forgiveness and self-love to practice. What does that look like? For me, it is a surrender of the past, bringing myself to the present moment and acknowledging that I did the best I could at the time with my limited consciousness. It then means opening up to the present and beginning the journey from here, knowing that Spirit will wash away the years the locusts seem to have eaten and set us on the high road of healing.

This was a great revelation this morning. Perhaps it seems, to a minister of New Thought, there is nothing really new about it, nothing profound. For me it is the beginning to once again healing my life. People will ask about Spiritual Mind Treatment, “Why didn’t you just heal this whole thing with a Treatment? It seems Treatment doesn’t work.” These are people who are arguing for their own limitations. As Dr. Holmes once wrote, “there is no process of healing, but there is generally a process in healing.” That process is the time that our minds take to come to the realization and embodiment of the Truth. Truth is instantaneous, but it waits upon our recognition. Treatments do work and are repeated until a demonstration takes place. Treatments move the energy and clear negation and open the channels to receive and acknowledge Truth.

So, right now, I go through the process in healing. There is not one answer for any of us that doesn’t lie within ourselves. I keep treating and my husband joins me. I can never give myself enough self-love and self-forgiveness. I cuddle myself in the life that gives me joy and fulfillment. I surround myself with the people and experiences that uplift me and continue to awaken me to my greatness.

Love and Aloha,

Rev. Rita Andriello-Feren, Co-Spiritual Director CSL Kaua`i